Those of you who read the blog for a while know that the travelling husband, despite working with three full screens opened in front of him and one on the side, doesn’t particularly enjoy technology. The travelling husband doesn’t believe in the power of artificial intelligence, he believes in the power of Excel spreadsheets!

Now, although Excel sheets are still used for EVERYTHING, (business or family related), over the years his attitude towards technology started to change.

It al started with the arrival of Alexa,that I gifted him a few Christmas ago. The idea was that he used it as an alarm clock so that she could wake him up and give him the latest news from the world. That happened only twice, and then he deactivated any function but the good old classic alarm one. “Why?” I asked, quite disappointed because, if I knew he was just using it as a simple alarm clock, I would have bought him something far cheaper. “The damn woman talks too much. I like quiet in the morning.”. Fair enough! And maybe after all these years together, I should have known better…Unless he was just using it as a metaphor and by the -damn woman- he meant me. Possible, but I just preferred not to enquire further. Like with teenage kids, even with husbands when it comes to what they really think is far better to stay ignorant.

Anyway, still determined to make him appreciate Alexa and her multiple skills and features, I decided to try something else. I bought a smart plug and a couple of smart bulbs so that with a simple voice command Alexa could switch on and off his bedside table lamp and the main bedroom light. That, was something appreciated indeed; especially after an entire evening at the pub when you eventually make it to the bed and the last time you want to do is get up and walk to the other side of a spinning bedroom because you forgot to turn off the light and your insensitive wife is complaining.

Unfortunately, good things never last and one day while vacuum cleaning the bedroom I realised he had unplugged Alexa.”Why?”I asked, again. “The damn woman was acting funny lately and never really got what I was asking. I had to repeat the same order over and over again.” “Well, if you say so..” I drily replied thinking that was no way to speak of a present I gave him but also thinking that if he was going to enjoy and appreciate Alexa no more, I was more than happy to take her. The problem was, how to say it without making it look like I was trying to get back a present or worst that I might have given him the present only to ultimately use it myself.
And so poor Alexa was sitting there unable to perform her duties and express her personality for months until close to Christmas last year when the travelling husband expressed interest in a smartwatch.
And once he had his Garmin watch on his wrist there was no happier man on the planet,(my wallet is still very sad instead.), and I got to inherit his Alexa and, so far, she never failed me. The travelling husband says that’s because I am a woman, and between women, there is always a certain solidarity. I think that it is simply because I don’t call her names if she can’t make sense of what I am saying half drunk at 2 in the morning. Anyway, as they say, the truth is always in the middle! What is on the contrary unquestionable, is that Garmin boy should use some training.
As the prodigal watch never leaves the husband’s wrist, except to be charged, it comes to bed with us, and like his owner, (or should I say “master”), it makes annoying sounds. I now have to share my bed with a heavily snoring man and his extra caring watch who, diligently informs us with a loud beep every time there is a software update or his owner’s heartbeats are too slow or too high or just right or when he simply reach his r.e.m sleep phase. Lucky him! His wife, on the other side, is still dreaming of reaching that stage of sleep because every time she is about to, a beep reminds her something unmissable in the world had happened.

Yes, the answer to your question is yes! The travelling husband didn’t figure out how to silence his new mate yet !!!

Yes, the answer to your other question is yes too! I thought about silencing them both …with a pillow……!!!