The porch of my dreams.

My dream house is a house with a front porch,american style.When I went to visit my friend Abigail in Georgia, I fell in love with her porch.I could have lived in that porch. Soon curiosity started to raise in the neighborhood around the peculiar guest who spent most of her time on the porch.The rumors quickly stopped when explained that the “porchfobiac” was an Italian living in Ireland and loving Irish summer.

Unfortunately,Ireland is no country for old porches. Frankly I am still wondering why as,lets face it,no other country could make better use of some shelter.
Anyway,this is the reality of the things but, because mother nature blessed me with a abundant dose of stubbornness, I have found the way to get my porch.

When we moved in the new house,the garden shed was already there and now it is really showing its age.We painted it twice,(and I am saying “we” only as form of pluralis majestatis), but now it is really on his last leg.The base is rotten and the roof could potentially collapse any time soon. When the time came to order the new one I put my feet down:it had to be a shed with a veranda,aka a porch.
Due to arrive last Monday,by coincidence just a day before my birthday,I had the entire week end to get prepared.

Saturday I started to power-wash the back patio area.The weather was glorious and I am pretty sure I didn’t fail to attract the hate of my neighbors that,had to enjoy the first week end of really nice spring weather at the sound of my pressure washer. I started at around and finished at around when I started to smell bbq.Once I turned off my machine,I also heard bottles been opened in the surrounding gardens,to celebrate the end of the evil noise.
The thing is,I didn’t actually finished my cleaning ,there was some job still to be done but I had to stop.Not only my back was crying to be relieved by the fatigue but also the pressure washer hose had enough and broke.Water was squirting everywhere.I sellotaped it at my best but still it was dripping and there was not enough pressure to keep going.
The traveling husband who had been instead very sedentary for the whole day, exception made for the movements of his head to follow the players of the Davis cup on tv, rushed to the diy shop to buy a new hose.It is still unclear if he did it more moved by the fear of coping with the noise for an other day or the idea of been on his own with his offspring for an other afternoon.Out of luck,when he got there ,they had just closed:the job had to be finished on Sunday.

Thankfully,there was very little left and it was quickly done.The weather was everything but glorious :The all four seasons passed over my head while cleaning but it definitely worth it.Wow, you need sunglasses now to look at those tails!I know, I am sometimes in shock myself at the thought of the things I can get excited about!

I am sitting in the drizzle in contemplating pleasure of the refine work I have just accomplished when I remember I need to empty the shed. Before install the new one,in fact, they have to dismantle and bring away the old one.
I am not concerned by this task as I did a pre-clearance and it shouldn’t be much left in there.It “shouldn’t”:exactly the correct verbal form as ,someone else, didn’t do his pre-clearance. I now firmly believe that there should be a law imposing men a limit to the amount of hunting paraphernalia they can own.I mean,how many hunting huts someone needs? I counted 5 and 7 folding chairs for pigeon stations along with a ridiculous quantity of decoys and at least 4 pairs of boots.
Making as much noise as I can, while moving the hunting equipment around, I am eventually successful on attracting the husband’s attention.He come at the window and looking at the empty shed he lifts his thumb up.I don’t replay with any gesture because instinctively the finger I would lift up it wouldn’t be my thumb.

He is now out ,I can hear him breathing behind me:”It looks good!So now I can remove the shelves ad disconnect the electricity?because is getting late,you know?”. Turning my head around Linda Blair style,I don’t speak so the green foam is forming inside my mouth won’t spill out.
I straightened my back at the sound of cracking bones and joints ,I give him an ok signal and I go inside.
I run a bath and dip myself in :I don’t want to be anywhere close in case the job with the electricity goes wrong.


103 thoughts on “The porch of my dreams.

  1. I agree with you! A porch is like an extra room in the summer, cozy to be in. Having a porch works well in most countries. Sweden is absolutely no an Mediterranean country!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Nice post๐Ÿ˜Š I would adore a porch to sit in. The Americans have it all sorted. I like you starting the trend elsewhere! One with one of those swing benches would be fantastic!!! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Someday I’ll get a porch added to our house, for now I’ll settle for my lounge chair in my garden. Cant wait to see a picture or two of your new porch.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Hahaha I love your writings!
    I understand the porch thing. I am outside on ours for a large portion of the weekend. It is my art studio and my writing room… i love it.
    Is that an actual photo of what your porch looks like? Or will look like once completed?

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Ah, I have two porches. A delightful little enclosed brick porch at the front and a covered porch on the back. I like being a porch dog, lying about, coffee in hand watching the grass grow an inch and hour. Life is good if you have a porch and soon your life will be very good. And I agree, never lift a thumb when a finger will do. ๐Ÿ˜†

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thatโ€™s exactly what I think too,about the finger๐Ÿ˜œfor the porch I confess i feeling some envy now but as I always say you get what you get and donโ€™t get upset๐Ÿ˜‰enjoy your Sunday……on your porches ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you Ortensia. Today is perfect porch weather and I do hope your shed with porch conversion is a refuge where all manner of Lips for Literature ideas keep you smiling.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Yesterday even electricity is back working inside and curtains are up so now I need paint,some flowers and a good cocktail…..who cares even if it rains …I will be sheltered by my little porch๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿธ

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you but you know what the hunting equipment is still all in there……..for the hunting gear he has a space in between he wardrobe with the guns Iโ€™m not even going through that except when require to stitch up snatch d trousers…..Iโ€™m a ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. sometimes some other times he only realizes the headaches I give hIโ€™m๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
        In fairness Iโ€™m very lucky too just I rather keep it for myself๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜Ž

        Liked by 3 people

  6. Nice place for living Ortensia,

    I like it. I have a big porch in front of my house. I drew my house on paper, how I want to my house look like.Not too high, but with big porch and wonderful with a large yard, and suddenly, totally unexpected I found exactly that house , just like from my dreams. I am living now there ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you and great post

    Liked by 3 people

  7. If you can be this hilarious in writing, I can only imagine how wonderful it will be to have any relationship with you EXCEPT being your hubby. (shivers at the thought and slowly brings his safe blanket to his nose.)

    Liked by 4 people

      1. BREAKING NEWS: Japan has successfully tested disabling artificially intelligent sex dolls from killing their hubbies in their sleep.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. In Ireland it would hardly be too hot but sure we donโ€™t lack of rain thatโ€™s why it would be the perfect place for a porch instead no house has it๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That makes sense. It does get pretty hot in Georgia and Florida. It’s not approaching 90 degrees and it’s not summer yet. We dabble in the sun but like the shade and coolness thereof. It is risky at the beach as you described in your other post about falling asleep at the beach and waking up to the sun burn. Those are some miserable times that I remember well.

        Liked by 2 people

  8. I do love porches too.. especially the ones I can sit on and enjoy the sunrise and sunset..

    I also love a gazebo… in my back yard..

    Oooh ๐Ÿ˜ฏ.. you are Italian.. not Irish..
    all the same.. Still love your spirit…

    Keep enjoying the weather.. sitting on your porch

    Liked by 3 people

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