Girls Little Chats

Published on by ortensia

I never thought I had seen the end of this week.Still uncertain if it was more atrocious the weather or my mood I would just declare the match had finished with a draw.
Things started to pick up on Thursday. I eventually decided to start talking again to the traveling husband who, was indeed annoyed by the cold shoulder I was giving him since Monday but,indeed secretly glad for the quiet brought by a silent wife.I still like to think that,in the end,he was starting to get terrifically bored.

Beside the husband wronging me and the wintry depressing weather,I have to be total honest here: a week without alcohol,cheese and biscuits might have done the biggest damage to my mood.I know I will be happy for inflicting a such sufferance to myself when I will start trying on summer dresses and beach outfits but,still,it is threatening my mental health.It is even worst then when my mother used to brush my hair like she was raking a path of stones and kept saying, “there is no gain without pain dear”.And then she wonders why I have been wearing a bob for the last thirty years!

By Friday my soul and body got used to have cardboard under the shape of integral cereal instead of delicious digestive biscuits for breakfast.Even the weather seemed to improve,still pretty grey and cold for this time of the year but, at least, not windy and rainy.Because today I have two little pals of the girls in the car,I am moved by a sudden instinct of good hygiene orientated parent: I decide to hoover and clean the car inside.Twenty minutes later I realize the job is far behind my capacity.They will have to be happy just not sitting on a carpet of sands and dogs hair.

Daughter number one and her friend have a party to go. The party is quite far away(over half an hour driving)but definitely worth it as it is a tour of a chocolate factory.There is no time for me and the other two to go home and back so we treated our self at the factory with coffee and babyccinos accompanied by a yummy complimentary chocolate each.For the record,mine is still in the bag untouched.Two hours are long to pass and we are fast drinkers so we decided to venture to the nearest shopping center. Not ideal but better then sitting in the car. Ikea would be close too but I have no space left in the car and,by experience,I know there is no chance to go to Ikea and get out empty hands.

If the drive to the party was all about what was going to be the chocolate factory and an interminable sequels of laughs and giggle at the expenses of a poor boy who, since first grade, unsuccessfully proposes to every girl in the class;the drive back home proved to be intellectually more challenging.May be without the rush hour traffic I could have make it to keep the conversation strictly about the just spent afternoon but,with all that extra time at our disposal while stack in the motorway, the little four devious minds I was transporting started rambling around.Two fifth grader plus two third grader who are also two couple of sisters can be the most explosive combination but also the most funny.

The eldest sisters started lecturing the youngest ones about puberty.From there we went through the possible code names they could use instead of “puberty” as,apparently,it is an unpleasant word.I diligently explained that it is exactly its name and it is not unpleasant or shameful and everybody goes through it.”Yes even the dogs”,CG said,”Kurt is now a teen ager in dogs years and he has spots.”.Actually Kurt,the giant dog,might correctly be a teen ager in dogs years but more likely the spots that keep showing to his head and disappear, have to do with him learning how to open the utility room’s door and eat directly from the container of his food.Better safe then sorry,I played along.They were all happy about the subject of puberty but still quite in shock by the fact that dogs grow boobs too, to feed the puppies. As consequence ,I have been ask to have a litter with the next dog so she will grow boobs to see.Great,now not only my mouth gets me in trouble with adults but also with children!

Nearly home,tiredness started to kick in:the voices went lower and the talk was about dreams.A safe topic eventually.No,not yet safe: the proposing boy is still the protagonist but,this time,he proposed to a class mate and then “they had the thing”.This,to quote one of the third grader who was telling the dream she had. “What is the thing?”,the two fifth grader asked in a coir ….they can be older but the youngest sisters are a step ahead,no doubt about it .”The SEX”,and this is CG,my daughter number two that I quote.Loud and clear she spoke and I nearly crashed in the car in front of me.Thing last one,that I am really not allowed to do ,again. This time I doubt I would be so lucky to get away with a pan of homemade tiramisu.

At that point I don’t know what gave me the greater relieve:the disgusted expression they all had at the sound of the word Sex or the big sign on the side of the road stating we were eventually home!

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92 thoughts on “Girls Little Chats”

  3. You deserve some restorative wine after that little expedition. I sincerely hope the two girls were mistaken and the fifth graders were not actually having sex. Making out would be fast enough for that age group….

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  6. Oh my goodness! Bahahahahaha this is awesome. I have boys and one of them feels uncomfortable seeing a bra and the other … well… he is a lady killer. I don’t know how I would have handled this conversation had they been my girls. Girls are so different to boys. It is good that they feel comfortable enough around you to say these things though!

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      10. E ma xche’ non soffrendo il mal di mare non ho neanche senso dell orientamento e tendo a perdermi💁🏻‍♀️😂😂😂😂ma alla fine arrivo sempre 🤩

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      1. They won’t…..apparently despite the less time he spends with them he is a much better trainer then me and taught them the concept of” do not disturb “ much more effectively 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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  15. You are always such fun to read. I recall being 17 and noticing one day that girls were a different shape to when I last bothered looking five years previously. Suddenly the unreasonable amount of talking they did started to have compensations…

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  17. Oh my! This is the point where parenting and driving is a challenge. Always they say don’t drink, text, or discuss puberty while driving. I think our big eyes in the window scare the other drivers. 😳

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    1. Lol,we have a pair of fake glasses with big bubbly eyes we keep in the car for long drive …..usually my youngest one wears them to entertain drivers around us😂😂😂😂😂

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      2. Family is equally split in 2 grumpy bears and 2 annoying happy go lucky😂😂😂we also have 5 octopus “fingers”…..very hard to drive with those on🤣🤣🤣

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  18. What a day my goodness what a week, I hope somewhere in the scope of things you find a bit if time to find a much needed adult beverage, then again as they say chocolate makes everything better so it seems

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      2. Baileys coffee is what they drink here but if ordered at pub they always look at you badly because it takes much longer then a pint to be prepared🙄but it’s good

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  19. Oh my! What a ride! 😂 And I started having the most delicious daydream after reading the word chocolate factory. 😉 Like you I’m trying to forgo the stuff and lovely cookies so I can wear a bikini without having to hide underneath a burka! 😂

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    1. I tell u,I “had” to have alcohol last week end but no cheese and biscuits .what a hard world 😫I’m becoming a rice cake as many as I ave been eating instead of biscuits 😂someone should warn women of how difficult is to lose weight when you are well into ur forth decade of life😂😂

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    2. Of course the answers went unfinished,I was saying considering it was Friday and the end of (working) week I did had wine when home…..I needed it😎😂

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    1. No because u have a Scandinavian build….and at least 10 years less then me….😆anyway I had a bit of fika on Saturday now I’ll big good untill next week end.it will worth it…..I hope🙄

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  22. Brilliant!
    How did you not eat that chocolate with the babyccino?! I now must read back to find out why travelling husband had earned your cold shoulder for a few days, but I’m glad the sunshine and warmer temperatures have melted the ice a little.
    Brilliant post Ortensia! 😀

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