Cheap Chat?No Thank You

Published on by ortensia

More and more often I find myself pretending to not see someone rather then engaging in a cheap chat.I am not talking about those cheap chats with absolute strangers at the supermarket or on the bus.Those are the most fun of the conversations.I am talking about the cheap chats with someone you know. More precisely,with someone you know well enough that they feel the urge to stop and talking but do not have actually anything really to talk about.If we have nothing really to say to each other,it is ok. Nothing wrong with that,we don’t necessarily have to engage in conversation. It is not rude.We can just wave at each other and keep going .A simple,”Hi how are you”.No answer expected rather then “fine thanks”, while keep going,it is enough.This is where I stand but,as my mother always says,the world is nice because it is a”variegated” place.Inevitably, there will always be that one person who will engage you in the most odd conversation that makes you feel stupid because,despite all your efforts,you can’t find something particularly intelligent to say.Looking deep into the matter, you probably don’t come up with anything particular intelligent to say, because you don’t have anything particularly intelligent to say.To be honest,most of the time,you are not even interested in what has been told to you either.

After the first five minutes of these forced conversations,I usually totally loose the plot. I stop listening and start wondering in my own mental world.The problem is,that after the long soliloquy of the master cheap chat, my turn comes.I am asked questions and, because I missed most of the conversation,I will be looking like an idiot trying to find something to say that won’t reveal I didn’t listen at one single word that have been told to me. Basically, every time I find myself in front of a professional cheap chatter I have two choices:being rude and walk away or stay and look like an idiot.The second is the most common outcome,as I have been raised a well mannered person.

School gate and the kids activities are the perfect spot for an outbreak of wild and contagious cheap chat. Sunday morning my eldest daughter plays hockey.This year she does it one hour later then last year.It is a nice and quite time,if you can keep away from the cheap chatters.Most of them could really just wave and go but,they don’t. They engage in micro but highly futile and unnecessary conversations.
I usually stay in the car but not always is possible and so,here I am,face to face with the queen of the cheap chat.I really tried to not look like an idiot but this woman can always find the way to trick me.Now you tell me,what is the answer to: “how the new hockey timetable affected the rest of the household?”.Seriously?The big change is that she is now doing hockey from 12.30 to 13.30 instead that from 11.30 to 12.30. I frankly didn’t even think about it. I am desperate to find something clever to say.It is no easy but at the end, I came up with,”oh, it certainly give me more time to get the lunch ready”.Sure it was not the most clever answer but, a good enough little housewife’s answer.Test passed!

The following Sunday,I went more prepared.I pictured so much scenarios in my head and so many possible questions and answers that I felt ready to face the most unnecessary of the conversations.I did my homework and I could stood there head up and totally confident.Well,that is what I thought until I was engaged in conversation by someone who obviously liked the sound of his voice very much and regurgitated an endless series of information I was not the slightest interested on. I politely pretended to listen with interest. To be honest,as long as he was talking,I didn’t have to.Thing that was fine because I didn’t really have anything to say to him.Unfortunately luck doesn’t go on forever:”and you,what ‘s up with you?Plans for the rest of the year?holidays?”.I could feel a series of facial expression passing on my face and not one of them was pleasant or clever but,they were the perfect reflection of the blankness that was going through my mind.Thankfully,at certain point, my brain came alive.With of course the wrong thoughts but,it was alive:”it is January,I didn’t think about summer holidays yet and,frankly,I don’t plan my year ahead…….that is a very stupid question!”,”boy,can you not just say hello how are you and p… off?”.For obvious reasons I couldn’t say what I was thinking and I had to quickly find an excuse to look at my feet and hide my frown that,sure, it would have given me away.Good thing is, I managed to gain some time. I took a big breath and went, “rather then Italy over summer nop,no,plans yet,you?”.An other big mistake.This people have their whole year planned already, week end after week end.I felt claustrophobic on his behalf but, I also felt totally uncool and disorganized. Thankfully,I remembered that I do actually have something planned already and,in advance enough to make me look a bit cooler to his eyes.”I am going to see Roger Waters in concert at the end of June”,I splattered on his face.He was impressed but,most of all,he was delighted to know that I am not living a such precarious life where things are planned last minute.

Now,a question raises spontaneously in my head:what is the real deal with this kind of cheap chats?It is a matter of politeness?It is a way to brag around your life?Or it is a way to know what is going o in someone else’s life?
My vicious mind is prone to say the last two but, I want to give humanity some credit…..someone might just be polite.

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75 thoughts on “Cheap Chat?No Thank You”

  4. I think I’m a moody chat person, sometimes I might be that “cheap chat”, other times, I’m on the receiving end of the “cheap chat”, and then in my “I want to be left alone mood”, ”cheap chat” is to be avoided at all costs…. like crossing to the other side of the road, or going down a different aisle at the supermarket, or going to have a coffee somewhere else, all to avoid a conversation that may be heading my way…… !!

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  6. I laughed out loud on this one. Like you, I’m always trying to avoid those “cheap chats,” but unfortunately, in my environment, it is difficult to avoid them. While I’m trying to “duck and hide” from one person, I run into another.

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    1. Lol,that can happen 😬it is strange like you can have a laugh with a total stranger queuing with you at the coffe shop and dread a simple conversation with someone you know🤷🏻‍♀️

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  7. Oh My! Fortunately for me, i never fell in that kind of cheap chat, but near I guess. And it is awful. i almost want to say “get over with it, I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to buy my lunch so….” can you imagine that happening at a McDonald’s drive through? “Hey guys, i want my meal!” “Ok just a minute, I’m chatting with this new guy I’ve never seen; don’t worry you’ll come next” 😕

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  9. my mum and my aunt ( and some of my friends from childhood) always called this “face” – dead eyes 🙂 I mean when u r wondering in your own thoughts and do not listening any blah blah (because u simply KNOWS what it will be – always similar stuff) – your eyes showing you are vanishing…

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    1. Of course,and I’m the first to enjoy cheap chat with strangers and a good joke but not boring ones or the one just To blabbing about yourself😉happy Sunday dear

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  14. I think a lot of us can relate to this topic. Apart from your writing skills, that is why it is so funny to read you. The worst for me is the weighing about the weather… If you find any good tips please share them with us. It definitely seems like we all could benefit of smart advices.

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    1. Don’t even start about talking about the weather😱it’s the favorite topic for a long whinge here….thing that I still quite not understand considering we live in a country with just one big season with some pic of heat and cold😂

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      1. Now you can imagine how it can be annoying here as we have one big season which is cold with some pic of heat, once in a while. So a lot of weighing! I can understand though… I’m telling you Ortensia you have to do a follow on this topic. Perhaps a list of your best reply to stupid cheap chat?

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      2. With pictures of my frown too?let alone the cheap chat I get involved when back to Italy where everybody thinks we are coming from the Antarctic to enjoy a bit of sun and the bidet…how can you live without bidet and how do t you hang out with the Italians over there…..so lonely must be…..well….not really😂😂😂😂😂

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      3. Ha, ha… It is another funny post idea: How can you live without a bidet!!!! I have my legs crossed and I am trying to stay elegant but I’m laughing so much it hurts. 😂

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      5. Ha, ha… Me bored of Gucci. 😉 Oh dear, sorry but that will never happen. Fendi either BTW. But if you lived near by I would gladly let you borrow my bags. I do that often with my friend Elena. Speak to you soon Ortensia xoxo

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      6. I don’t think I will be allowed to bring an other handbag home for a while😉but what can I do…..when it comes to fashion I go with one simple rules..:a woman has never enough accessories 😍

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  17. Most of the time when I am stuck in a meaningless chat, I go blank. I don’t have much to say. Anything that might interest the other person. My mum considers it to be my weakness. She thinks I should be more humble and talkative.

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  18. I know you are always going for the second option by well mannered person and behaving in good ways to approach this cheap conversation. All you have to just to pretend fully engaged with that conversation, even if you lost the meaning of this useless dispute. By this question, which i am gonna say it here oh ” is not that interesting?!” Or try to engage yourself with last few words of that conversation and repeat it again for the same person, it is just a way that they feel that they are important to you. But one i know, it would not be to you important, but for them it could be important. As we did sometimes our issues, our characteristics of any conversation, it could not be important. But we need someone to listen to us. Anyway, i just enjoyed reading that. Thanks for the smile dear Ortensia. I mostly like this post in its casual narration. 😂😉

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  20. On my emotionally sensitive days connected to my hormones,If I walk away, I feel guilty. If I stay, I really get into it and get headache. In normal days, I just smile, say something fast and nice and engage with my phone looking like I’m really solving an urgent problem. That’s my normal😂😂😂

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  21. I usually look at them and I say, I need your help. They say sure. I say well I shot my neighbor and I can’t seem to remember what I did with the body. Would you help me find it.? The look on their faces: PRICELESS. It is usually the end of the small talk. 😂😂😂😂

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  23. This is so so so so true. I’ve thought of writing about it but I would never have been able to make it so ‘HEY I KNOW THAT’ as you did. Lovely reading. You should write a book. Called “THAT’S ME”

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      1. Of course 🙂 🙂 Hahahahahaa. Ah now I see the stories from the heart. No wonder it’s so heythathappenedtome

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