This time last year it was Office Christmas Party time.No,not mine.Those days are long gone for me.Now I organise my own Christmas party. It was the travelling husband’s company Christmas party.He was off that day and went in only for the party.I dropped him at the train station late afternoon and headed home for a cosy night in. Early pj,big bowl of salad to be eaten on the couch and,with some luck,a french thriller or comedy.They would be both noir being french.I love that peculiar nearly arrogant allure that french movies usually have.Everything went according with my plan,for once.

I was nice and warm in my big bed,all for myself for an ther couple of hours or more.I read few pages and then I was nearly falling asleep when I heard voices from the street coming closer and closer. “Strange”,I tought.It sounded like they were literally outside my window.At first I thought it was my neighbors and so when the dogs heard them as well and run downstairs barking like crazy I didn’t worried and didn’t bother to get up and check until they made the alarm go off.I got down,switched off the alarm and set it back on and went to bed giving out at the two creature that were loyally following me .I turn the night light off and tried to sleep.Ten minutes passed and the voices were back,closer than ever.The giant dog that clearly has an hearing system that even Clark Kant would envy,raised his head and started to growl ready to bark and go back down and let the alarm off…again.Not this time! I have been much quicker than him and while holding him by a leg I managed to jump out the bed and shut the bedroom’s door.At least they were both contained inside and well far away from the alarm sensor.

I open the curtains and saw a guy walking up and down the lane speaking on his phone and kneeling down to check under my car.That was freaky.I opened the window and asked if he needed something.He seemed annoyed by my interruption of his phone call and he dismissed me blathering something I didn’t get.Allright, I was sleepy but not totally numb.If someone should have been annoyed that should have been me.I opened the window again and said to him that he was in my property and he was better give me some explanation or i would have called the police:”Don’t worry mam,I did already and they are on their way”. Then it was when my night turned noir itself!

Long story short:He was a policeman,off duty that night.They went to rob at his parents’ and he managed to follow the thief up to my road and the he lost him:”So what you think he is hiding under my car?”.It didn’t really make sense.The guy explained that he was actually looking for the stolen goods.The robber might have dropped it to avoid to have it on him if he was caught.Satisfied by the explanation but slightly nervous at the idea that a robber was probably hiding in the neighborhood.I retreated my head from the window.

It was well passed midnight.A police patrol came up and went off.I rang the travelling husband that obviously didn’t answer so I texted him saying we might have a fugitive in the garden but apparently police were already involved.”Get your rifle out”,that was the text I received back.Would I get upset or would I have a laugh?I laughed,thinking it could have actually not be a bad idea.I was sure he would have rang shortly after or texted me.I went back to bed . Around 1.30am I heard more voices and I saw lights outside through the curtains.Blue and white police sirens lights.Two police patrols are outside the house with three uniformed officers and then an unmarked car arrives and the local lieutenant get out. I lock the dogs in the kitchen and I go out to see what is going on. After having surrounded the area and looked everywhere for the robber they are now convinced he is hiding somewhere in the neighborhood.To give you a better idea,my neighborhood is a private lane,cul de sac,ending with four houses well detached one from the other:no much space to hide if not in one of the garden isnt it?

All the neighbours are out.Two lost interest soon and went back inside.The others are still out chatting with the guards.To be precise,the wife is chatting with the guards and the husband is trying to make her go inside. She is just back from her company christmas party with few drinks to many in her body,still trapped in a black evening dress conveniently covered by a fury bathrob.Not to mention the barefeet and her make up made her resemble the Ozzy Osbourn in the good old days of the Black Sabbath.

The guards checked all the gardens.Mine for last being the house in the corner and with the biggest and not overlooked garden.In simpler words,it was the most possible shelter for the thief.They came in,the dogs are not happy at first.The giant dog barks and growls and one of the uniform made a stupid joke about having to shoot him if he doesn’t calm down.I very seriously replay that I will have to shoot him, then! K,calmed down and nobody had to shoot nobody.They checked the garden,the shed, the side ,everywhere.The place is clear.They leave and say to not worry. The robber is probably already miles away.

What a night.Im exhausted.I go back to bed and I remember the traveling husband.I check the phone and he never rang or texted.It is nearly three in the morning now,I suppose he will be home soon.I am annoyed that he hasn’t rang considering the situation and I send him a sharp text explaining the guards came,searched the house and left.Everything is ok.No answer,I am too tired and collapse under the cover.

Strange noises coming from downstair.I look at the watch and it is 5.45am.I look at the other side of the bed and the traveling husband is not in there.The strange noise is him coming home.I am furious! First of all,I am furious because it is very late,or early ,it depends witch way you look at it.Second of all,I am furious because I could have been scared and in danger and he was too busy having fun to text or to ring:”Why,what happened?are you ok?”,he asked coming down from planet Mars.”I sent you a text”,I replay.”I must have not seen it”,he says.”You answered me”,I say, not sure if I want to laugh or hit.I showed him the text:”Oh,but you didn’t seem worried or upset at all”. Now,only a genuine person can choose a such crap defensive line. I don’t hit. I laugh.We both have a laugh and go to sleep…..eventually.

P.S. If some of you is wondering where the girls were during all the mayhem….well…they slept through the whole thing!