A little girl gender tales

Published on by ortensia

When i picked up the girls from school I immediately saw that there was something wrong with the eldest one.Since we had problems with a couple of particularly mean girls last year I now have my antenna always up and ready to detect .I asked what was wrong and as usual she said she would tell me in the car.Once in the car, driving home, I asked again and she started to talk about secondary school;about witch school she would go(she is in fifth class so this year we are making applications);the mixed school or the only girls one and can she decide herself and bla bla bla.To be honest I was totally lost because everything she was saying had not much sense and I could not get the point until her younger sister,in her extremely concise pragmatic way, said: “She doesn’t want to go to an only girls school because she doesn’t want to become a lesbian .”. Wow,at first I was not sure if to break in a big laugh or bang my head on the steering wheel .In the meantime I was trying to decide for the most appropriate reaction I nearly crashed into the van in front of me that,cleverly,slowed down because of the ramp on the road.Ramp that I totally missed and probably left half of my under car on it.Too bad,I had far more important things to deal !Very calmly I explained that the fact that you go to an only girls school doesn’t make you become a lesbian.You are born like that and I brought the example of a cousin of ours who is a lesbian and their own uncle who is gay.They know these people and their partners forever so I couldn’t understand really where all this was coming from but then I realized that I never used the words lesbian or homosexual or gay with my daughters.I never really used them because I didn’t want them to label people :they must like or not like people for how they behave and for what they are as persons,not for their sexual orientation.May be it was a mistake,I don’t know.I only know that once questioned I simply answered that you can love someone of your same sex or the opposite one and that is it!There was no need of labels.Anyway,that was clarified.They were both relieved they could go to either a mixed or not mixed school without worrying about their sexual orientation development.They now also know that who loves someone of their same sex is called homosexual;who loves someone from the opposite sex is called heterosexual;who loves them both is a bisexual.Lots of information for a Monday afternoon but it had to be done!Everything was clear except I still didn’t know where this all lesbian thing came from and so I asked.It All came from “A”. “A” (whose name I can’t say for the privacy)is a school mate and seems to know a lot of this things and her mom even more as apparently said that you recognize lesbians by their horrible flat shoes.I know the woman,She is the one who fell depressed when turning 30 and didn’t want to celebrate her birthday.I rememeber at the time,when i was told ,I was not quite sure how to feel:extremely old or extremely depressed as apparently I already celebrated my birtday 13 times too many after the threshold to stop feeling good about your age.To make it even worst ,there is then the fact that I actually keep enjoying my birthday:it is my day and I never let it pass without a party.What is wrong with me!!??!What does this make of me?A fool or a dinosaur?Today I know,I am a pissed dinousaur because,for God sake,who just talks like that in front of a 10 years old who registers everything and filters nothing? Can we not just be careful with the words we use in front of our kids?Last year we had a similar problem:one day,always my eldest daughter,came home from school asking if I knew what a transgender was and saying she thought she was one of them.Beside the initial shock I had,even only for the fact that she knew the word “transgender”,I might be honest I thought it could make sense with her very boyish personality and style but I have never really seen any signs of discomfort on her so I went a bit deeper and asked where did she hear about transgender.Ah ah,”A”,again!!! “A”,allegedly ,saw some documentary on the television and her mom explained her a transgender is a boy who dresses like a girl and other way around.The logic of a 10 years old then wanted that my daughter was told to be a transgender because she always wears boyish clothes,and being my daughter a 10years old too sharing the same logic,believed it.I explained with simple understandable words what a transgender is and that what her school friend described is more a cross dresser. At the end of my explanation she looked puzzled and with a slight hint of disappointment in her tone eventually said:”But I love to be a girl .I just prefer to wear comfortable clothes.”. “Here you go honey”,I said “I am afraid you are just an ordinary girl”….”and A and her mom should stop watching u-tube and start check wikipedia instead.”!

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24 thoughts on “A little girl gender tales”

    1. Thank you very much .i don’t actually know if I am a good mother (sometimes I’m think they will only remember all the screaming rather then the hugs😳)but I’m trying my best in the only way I know…..I m afraid that will have to do😉

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  3. Taking care of children is very hard as long as we concern about their future to shape them in the right way to adapt for whats coming next. But i am wondering about your antenna how do you function it? Is that thing the same one we use for gold’s searching?😀. Just kidding. Anyway, i just wanted to ask myself the same question ( gay and lesbian) where does it come from? Left unanswered question into my mind though. But according to medical diagnoses reports , when this happens, it means there are problem in hormones. Or specifically, passive issues come into individuals’ mind. However, there are professional exists in every country specialized about these kind of cases, some doctors know to eradicate this habit by training them and giving full guidance and enlightenment for overcoming on it. Going to only girls schools do not mean, that they are lesbian, but with some correction to their concepts might help and consolidate their self esteem back. What you think, dear ortensia?!

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    1. I am more inclined to think we are born a way or an other and to be honest I m not keen to only girls school as real life is mixed and young girls can be very mean unfortunately.Ha ha ha about my antenna so far they only detected bullies but I wouldn’t mind some gold too😉

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      1. Agreed to your perspective. I do not feel fear for the way you grow up your kids, you so educated woman, and you are able to handle it, and let ortensia handle it 😉. With regards to antenna, 😂😂 why not ? Gold is not bad though lol, much better than looking for bullies who are useless 😉

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  4. The root of all problems we have in life is in our own unexplored sexuality and hiding our authentic selves behind social stigmas. Your daughters are blessed for having you as a mother, who will support them in every path they take. That is so important. We always need to have those antennas on with our children. I’m not a mother,but I have same relationship with my nieces. Communication is everything.

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  5. Look guys, I will ask a favour of whomever is interested ….. there is a new blog that I follow called pourmixandcreate.wordpress.com , it’s a new blogger (10 years old) she does child’s drawings and diy such as cooking. So I’d whomever is kind enough to follow her, she’s not always available so you won’t get harassed by her posts……
    Thank you

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    1. Thank you but may be fantastic is a bit too much .lets see how they turn….that will say if I did a good job,unless of course they become 2 ungrateful bitches🤣.I am trying to be me even as a mother…..hope it works.😊

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